Ok so I'm going to try to keep up this blog for the Chaney family, but not sure that will happen, I'm going to take a stab at it though! Thanks Lisa for making me keep up another blog LOL j/k.

So let's see, where to begin. Elizabeth is noe 21 months old, and we are pregnant with another one, due June 5th 2009. We had a quick ultrasound done about a month ago and we were told it was a boy, but we are waiting for the final verdict at our big ultrasound on Thursday. If this one is in fact a boy, he will be Jackson Ford Chaney. Our only issue now is the space in our house for a boy and a girl. We need a bigger house, but we aren't sure we want to go through the work in moving. After Jack is a year maybe. Of course we are always tossing different ideas up in the air.

Well that is all for today, I'll think of something more clever later.

its been a long time

Well it's been a long time since I posted. Obviously because I have had my daughter since the last time I posted. Just wanted to say hello and update my blog a bit. Nothing major going on. We are still living in Alaska, but will return to Washington soon. What a year it's been....my daughter is getting better and better everyday. One day everything will be back to normal.

In the meantime, check out the latest blog giveaways.
http://rocksinmydryer.typepad.com/reviews/2008/01/bloggy-giveaw-1.html

Who named it morning sickness??

Ok, whatever man named it morning sickness should have to go through it himself!!!! First of all, not many women have actual MORNING sickness...it's just an anytime sickness, or all day sickness, or smell of meat or something else equally smelly hurls us into sickness.

So to catch anyone up that actually reads this, which is hardly anyone lol. (ps, I update my myspace account a LOT more than this thing, so if you're really into it, go to www.myspace.com/scuby20) or not, it's up to you!

Anyways, I went to the OB guy last week for my follow up from the ER....He did another ultrasound and ran some more blood work. Well the day that I had the vaginal U/S I was 5 weeks 5 days according to my last menstral cycle. The doc saw a sac in the uterus, nothing in the sac, but a sac nonetheless. He said I was measuring 5 weeks 2 days...so I was right on track, since he and I both know I ovulated late last month. My hCG level numbers had also increase and were rising like they should, they were 6884, which is right where they should be, even a tad on the higher end of normal
He said that it would be another 2-3 weeks before we see anything inside the sac. But he said when I had my next appt with the person who was going to be my OB (because he just works night shift, and this was just a follow up before he got off shift that morning), I could ask for another ultrasound by that doc.

So on the 22nd I had what is called my "intake" appt. Basically, you go into the OB clinic, and meet with a nurse, who fills out a bunch of paperwork and tells you what you can and can't eat, determines a due date (which I already knew), tells you what is going to happen throughout the pregnancy and all that crap. I requested a male OB, not because I want a man looking at my hoo hoo, but men tend to be more sympathetic than women...I have experienced that first hand when it comes to OB's and GYNO's.

So my next appt should be between 10-12 weeks....Well I will be gone during that time, because we are heading to Memphis, Louisiana, Little Rock, and several places in Indiana, so we will be gone for a month. I'll be about 13 weeks when we get back.
So my 10-12 week appt is on the 31st, yeah I'll be 7 weeks lol.
I am going to beg and plead with this doc that he give me another ultrasound so I can see if the embryo is developing, meaning that we can possibly see it in the sac, and maybe the heartbeat.......So I am keeping my fingers crossed that he will.

And on a plus side, when we get to Indiana, my husbands uncle is an OB and he said he would give me an U/S!!!! woo hoo. Of course that will be my first regular U/S, not vaginal, cause I don't think I want my husband's uncle looking at my hoo hoo. But hey if he has to, whatever, not like I'm blood related to him lol.

So anyways, this pregnancy thing is kicking my butt lol. I don't know how we are going to be in a car for so many days with me and my afternoon sickness.

Eric bought the baby's first stuffed animals. He went to New Zealand for 2 weeks and bought a little stuffed animal sheep and a kiwi bird....I cannot wait to start buying stuff for the baby, but I am waiting till a bit later to do that :)

Worried

Well my left sided cramping continued, and I was really getting concerned that it is ectopic. So I went to the ER...7 hours later, I don't really have any more info. They don't know if I have an ectopic. I had a vaginal ultrasound, and no sac was seen in the uterus. I had 2 vaginal exams, blood taken, iv fluid, all sorts of crap. They even called down an OB guy from L&D to take a look at me. My HCG numbers are 106, which he said is on the low average side, which of course I started bawling. Im so scared something is wrong, or that this is an ectopic. They cannot rule out ectopic as of right now, but they can't say that it is either. I have an appt to see the same OB guy I saw tonight in the ER, on Wednesday at 7am, cause he works night shift, so I have to come in before he gets off. They will take more blood and do another serum test to see my hcg levels....and another vaginal exam. Then I'll still go back on my regularly scheduled appt on the 22nd. Eric of course will be gone Tuesday to New Zealand. I am freaking out about all this.I want nothing more than to have a baby, and everyone around me seems to have no problems getting pregnant and staying that way, yet here I have wanted this so long, and now there is a chance that something is wrong. Please please please keep me in your prayers, well not me as much as this pregnancy. I am so scared and worried.

BIG NEWS!!!!

YEP, THATS RIGHT!!! I'm PREGNANT!!!!!!

Seems like it took forever to get to this point, but we finally got here.

We just found out today that we are pregnant. Ok well I am, but Eric helped lol.

I woke up this morning, having some idea that I was, went to walmart, bought a test and took it right there in the walmart bathroom. And the digital reader said "pregnant".

Needless to say, I rushed home, showed Eric and then we went to the McChord clinic and got a pee test there and confirmed that indeed I am pregnant. 4 weeks pregnant. My tentative due date is April 19th. Pretty exciting. I go to see the OBGYN on the 22nd, so then I will find out more definatly my due date, though it will change till I have an ultra sound I'm sure :)

Please pray for us to have a healthy pregnancy, and a healthy baby!

Anchorage Obituary for my wonderful Grandad

FORMER RESIDENT
John Puckett, 83
Former Anchorage resident John "Ford" Puckett, 83, died May 11, 2006, at his home in Pinellas Park, Fla.
A service was May 16 at R. Lee Williams & Son Funeral Home in St. Petersburg, Fla.
Born Nov. 27, 1922, to Julia and John Puckett in Rockvale, Tenn., he came to Anchorage in 1968 from St. Petersburg. His was the first Harley Davidson Motorcycle dealership in St. Petersburg.
He belonged to Local 367 Plumbers and Pipe Fitters in Anchorage and was a foreman on many large projects, such as the Providence Hospital expansion and Chugach Electric's steam generation plant in Beluga. He was a 35-year member of the Plumbers and Pipe Fitters National Association.
Mr. Puckett was a 32nd- degree Mason with Al Aska Shrine in Anchorage. He was a World War II Army Air Corps veteran who served on a crash boat in Newfoundland. He had lived in Alaska over 20 years when he semi-retired to Florida in 1989.
His family wrote: "He enjoyed his true passion of motorcycle riding and travel throughout his life. 'Ford' was well-known for his cooking talents, his kind heart and dedication to family and friends."
He is survived by his wife of 43 years, Gietta of Pinellas Park, Fla.; daughter and son-in-law, Sherry and Wayne Kent of Anchorage; daughter, Joan Rodgers of St. Petersburg; grandchildren, Lindsey Chaney of Puyallup, Wash., Tamara McColgan of Memphis, Tenn., and Tom Burton of St. Petersburg; three great-grandchildren; brother, Bill Puckett of St. Petersburg; and sisters, Martha Cosby of Hollywood, Fla., and Carmen Smotherman of St. Petersburg.

You are gone, and will be missed, but never forgotten!

In memory of John Ford Puckett, born November 26th 1922. Passed away May 11th, 2006 at the age of 83.

My grandfather was such a big part of my life and of a lot of peoples life. No matter who knew him, they loved him. He was so famous, to a point I am just now beginning to understand.

My grandfather moved to Florida as a young child, when his father got the contract to dredge the "million dollar pier" in St. Petersburg Florida.
He grew up riding motorcycles, mainly Harley Davidson's. He went into buisness with his brother, opening a Harley Davidson Motorcycle shop in Orlando. He went on to own his own shop in St.Petersburg, that being the first Harley shop in St.Petersburg. He also owned a Honda motorcycle shop in California.
He was a plumber and pipefitter for 35 years with the Steamfitter and pipefitters union in Anchorage Alaska.
He at one point also owned a restaurant in Florida.
He was a mason and shriner with the "Al Aska" shriners association in Anchorage, Alaska.

He did so many things and was so brilliant. I truley believe he was one of a kind. I don't think there is anyone else on this earth quite like him. He was a wild and fun person in his youth, and a loving husband, father and grandfather in his later years. He always kept his friends and family close to him, letting everyone know just how much he loved them. Friends became family, and he had a lot. He poured his love on everyone that was near and dear to him.

He tought many things to many people. Even when he wasn't able to physically do things, he could tell someone else how to do it. He was a great teacher and mentor.

When I looked for someone to share my life with, I looked for someone that had traits and characteristics of my grandfather.

He was the hardest working man and most loving man I have ever known.

I love you and miss you a lot grandad, but I know I will see you again one day.

ERIC IS COMING HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, on Saturday Eric will be home.....gosh what a long 5 months it's been....geesh. I cannot wait until he get here. I have a hard time sleeping right now because I am so excited. I have a ton to do before then. I need to hang up the welcome home sign I had made for him, and spruce up the house a bit. I cleaned it a few days ago, but it will need another vaccuming job and floor cleaning and stuff.
I cannot wait, I will be so happy to have him home.
And April 6th we head to Florida for 19 days which will be AWESOME.

I cannot wait!!!

Have a good day everyone

The Reunion is Getting Closer!!!

Well the time is drawing near for Eric to come home!! This makes me extremely happy of course. I now have less than a month left until he returns.

I cannot believe these 5 months are almost done! I now can look back on the beginning, and how horrible it was, and see that I made it through. Of course I needed a little help, but hey everyone needs help every now and then.

We are going to Florida for 19 days to see family and a vacation. It will be so nice to have that time for ourselves. Not having to worry about him going to work or anything. We can just be with eachother. It will be so nice, and long overdue, and well deserved.

I cannot wait!!!!!

Ahhhh, to be back in Alaska

Well, my mom convinced me to come back to Alaska for a little while, to pass some time while Eric is gone. So I did, along with my 2 cats :) We flew up on the 20th and Ive just been hanging out basically. Havent done much but hang out here at my parents. Heck, I've only left the house a few times lol. But I guess having other people around helps the time pass. I'll be up here till the 2nd of March (the day after my birthday). Then I will go home to get the house ready for Eric to come home!!!
Im now on a diet called Opti Fast...of course my Tricare insurance doesn't pay for it, but my mom is paying for the medical visits and I'm paying for the food (consisting of shakes and vitamins). I got kind of sick from it the first 3 days, so I had to add a salad to the meal plan, but now Im trying to be just on the shakes again. My mom lost 10 lbs the first week, but I think cause I had to add a small salad, I won't have lost that much. Time will tell though. Of course I'm now craving Long John Silvers since I see that Anchroage has one. I worked at Long John Silvers in Florida when I was 16, my first job. Gosh how long ago that was.

In other news, I did FINALLY make a friend in Tacoma....Cheryl, she has been a God send for me. Definatly keeping me sain and helping me through this rough time. She also is keeping an eye on my house while I'm gone. I don't know if I could ever repay her for everything she has done, but I will certainly try!!!
I still have no job, but honestly I like it that way. Of course we could use the extra money, but we'll deal with that when Eric comes home :)

My 20 year old cousin who was my maid of honor in my wedding, is getting married in September. She'll be 21 by then, but she's so young lol. But she has a good head on her shoulders. She will have graduated from college, heck her fiance already graduated from college, he is the same age. They will both be going to grad school somewhere. I'm assuming close by since the wedding is in September. But I will be her Maitren of honor...pretty cool. So I am excited.

And in the final news, after Eric comes home, we may be going to Florida for 2 weeks. My grandfather is not doing well, and has never met Eric and really wants to. So my grandparents are paying for our plane tickets. We'll spend a week with them, and a week at a beach or Disney World or something. So that will be really nice :)

Now that Im up here in Alaska visiting, every time I see something going on with police, I have this urge to call to see what is happening, but seeing as I don't work there anymore, they probably would just laugh and hang up on me lol.

Well the snow is still coming down, which is a nice change from gloomy rain all the time. Though it was cold here for a while, I was enjoying seeing the sun....because in Tacoma, its like day 35 of rain lol. and when it rains there, its gloomy ALL DAY!!

So that's my update. Nothing exciting, though I know its been ages since I posted anything on here. Hell, people probably don't even check anymore LOL

Freaky Pizza Delivery Guy

Ok so I ordered some chicken from papa johns...they have these chicken strip things....so I was sitting here waiting for the pizza guy to deliver it. Well when I ordered the food, the lady told me my check had to have the same address as the address I was calling from. Well that is just stupid, I mean what if I was at a friends and offered to pay for food...or if we just moved...anyways, she said it had to match. I said it didnt, it was out of state (and will always be)...and she said unless we were military it had to match. I said, oh well we are military and she told me to show the driver my id...ok fine no problem. The guy showed up, came to the door...handed me the stuff and I wasn't paying attention to him. He was talking about something, but I couldnt really understand him. He is of some type of arab decent....so I hand him the check, he looks at it like he didnt know what he was looking at. I showed him my id and told him the girl told me that they accept checks with a different address from military....he says something I again don't understand and then says oh ok....Then he asks what I do in the military. (well first off, Im way to fat to be in the military, so to look at me, most people know its not me, plus my id looks nothing like active duty, but he didnt know that lol)...I tell him Im not that my husband is, and I kind of point in the back of the house, sort of gestering like he is here with me lol.....he says "oh, what base...I say mcchord"...no mystery there. I have an air force sticker on my van lol. so then he says "I'm very new to this country and I went to the base but they wouldnt let me on, told me I had to be sponsored"...I just kinda of smiled and said, yes you have to be sponsored on. He just kind of stood there lingering at my door, like I was going to offer to take him on or something ....then he said "well maybe one day I can get on base somehow" He just really freaked me out. I went around making sure all the doors and windows were locked.....and I don't mean to be prejudice against arabs, but he was, and he was WAY to interested in what base, what my husband did (which I didnt tell him), and the fact that he wanted to get on base. It just really creeped me out....and things like that usually don't creep me out that bad. Then I wondered, Lord I hope he never delivers pizza in Lakewood, where they deliver on base....I mean, I know people on base can get pizza delivered and stuff. I dont know how strict this base is or anything. I know on elmendorf, they let the pizza guys come on and deliver food...but I dont know what they had to show or do in order to do it. Im still just creeped out...weird weird guy.



So the creepiness of the situation got the better of me and I called the SP's and reported it.
I felt stupid because I should have been more aware of the description of his car and such, but I wasn't lol. I felt like those people that I used to talk to in dispatch that said "it was a car" lol...
but I think I did a little better than that lol. I gave the really nice SP guy all the info, the best descriptors I had, and what all the guy said and how weird he was. He said it was an "Eagle Eye" incident and that he was reporting it to the OSI oncall person and would give them my info and they would probably call be back, but if not, to call them in the morning and follow up. Well about 30 minutes later the phone rang and it was OSI. She was so nice and I told her the whole story and how it creeped me out. I told her I wasn't just some over zellous woman with nothing better to do than report things lol...but it was at least concerning to me. She said I was 100% justified in my fear, and that letting them know was the absolute correct thing to do. She was really nice and said they would definatly launch an investigation, tomorrow more than likely.

I feel much better having reported it. I mean I dont want anything to happen to anyone, but hey if it leads to something, then I feel better having done something to protect my country. I can't fight the war, but I can keep my eyes and ears open to that kind of stuff.

My Space

Ok, this is all new to me. There is a new blog system, well ok not that new, but new to me. It's called myspace. I wasn't aware that this thing was so big and growing so fast. It is kind of cool, you can have your friends on your page, and they can leave comments and such. It is also customizable as far as putting images and music on there. It is fun, and someone finally convinced me to start one, so I did. Now I have 2 blogs...eeek, I can't keep up with one sometimes lol. But the myspace one is fun and a little different. So if you have myspace, here is my myspace lol........www.myspace.com/scuby20

It was fun creating, or should I say learning how to creat it, and how to get cool stuff on there, I was even able to put a music video on mine, which is my theme song at this moment. :)

My week

Well, I have been seriously lacking in my posts lately. Partly because I didn't really have anything to write about, partly because I didn't have the spirit to write.

Nothing to exciting in my world, my husband is still deployed, I am still jobless, and I still hate Washington lol. There now you are all caught up lol j/k.

Well it seems that I am having a little bit of an easier time with Eric gone. I certainly would much rather have him here, but I am learning to be without him. It's funny to me because 3 years ago, I was by myself and got along just fine. Then 2.5 years with someone and suddenly I'm thrown through a loop without them. Now it's not that I can't live without him, I know I can, but I hate being without my husband for 4 months. I mean married people are supposed to be together, live their lives and share things together. With him gone, sometimes I feel more alone than when I was single. I guess I feel cheated, because I am married and I am supposed to have my spouse here like other people have. But the military lifestyle isn't the norm, so we have to get used to things like this. I am none to fond of the military lifestyle at this point, but this to shall pass.

My big news of the week is that I got a new bed frame. My mom got us a headboard and footboard for my birthday last march, and it came with a generic metal bed frame that wasn't to supportive. It had a metal peg in the middle, and other than that the only thing supporting it was the feet of the head and foot board. The middle peg was bending and the whole bed shook everytime someone moved in the bed. I went to a mattress store and found one that has 9 supports under it, so it would support the mattresses much better.
I had it delivered, not because I couldnt bring it home, but because without Eric here there is no way I could set it up. The guys got here brought it in and said "what do you want us to do ma'am"....I was like "um put my bed together " lol.
The company didn't tell them they would have to put it together. Yeah like I paid 50 dollars for them to carry a bed frame in that I could have done myself lol. They were lucky to have one little screwdriver, so luckily that worked. They lifted up the mattresses and then put it together. Since they were here, I had them put the box spring down and then I put the dust ruffle on because I certainly can't lift those mattresses alone. I even had them put my old bedframe in the garage, cause I didn't want to carry it out there either. They were nice and willing to help the poor little helpless girl LOL. So now the bed is sturdy and ready for baby making when Eric comes home LOL ok, that was TMI. lol

But that was the news of the week, boring as it is, thats all that has happened.

I am still working on getting christmas gifts for family. They won't be there in time for Christmas, but oh well, I don't care lol. Im not that fond of his family at this point anyways lol.

Well thats all the happenings in my life :)

Let it snow!

Well, I woke up today, and it is snowing! Of course for those people in Anchorage, this is not a new site, but for those in the Tacoma area, it is an unusual site lol....doesn't really snow here that much :)
Kind of pretty, felt like I was at home again :)

Day after Thanksgiving SHOPPING!!!

Well I decided to go shopping today. I usually go shopping on this day, and it is my favorite shopping day of the year. I am a marathon shopper though, I love it. I usually find a store that has the bargin I want, or a good deal and go there first. They typical thing is to wait in front of the store in a line before the stores open, because often the stores are giving something away, or have really good deals, but only have like 50 or 100 of the item. Well I decided I was going to get a portable dvd player for Eric for his Christmas present. I would usually get him tools if he were here, he likes that kind of stuff....but it was hard deciding what to get him while he's over there. He and his roomate don't have a tv, and his laptop is so old that it doesnt play dvd's lol. So I got him one that has a remote control, and a 7" screen. Its pretty cool......The bx was giving out 20 dollar gift cards to the first 100 customers....I got there at 5am, since they open at 6am lol...well some people were there at 3am lol...So I didn't get a gift card cause there were already like 250 people there. But I got 10 bucks off with a coupon, so that was good....so it only cost me 90 bucks...pretty good. I hope he likes it :)

Eric's Birthday

Well Eric's birthday was the 18th...Happy Birthday Honey!!!

Unfortunatly he had to spend it overseas, deployed :( Instead of here with his wife and kitties. But he sent me a picture of him at his birthday dinner. Apparently they have like a monthly birthday thing for everyone over there who's birthday is that particular month. This is him enjoying his Lobster and Steak dinner....pretty cool they gave them a good meal like that huh? :)

And here he is with a group of people all celebrating birthdays

How weird!

Ok so many of you may have heard there was a big shoot out at the Tacoma Mall today...YIKES.
No one was hurt thankfully, but it was a scary time for those in the mall. Apparently some gunman came in and shot at like 7 people near one end of the mall. People were running and getting out. Husbands were sending their kids and wives out of the store, and they stayed behind to help the wounded. The police were racing to get there, and the whole entire thing was covered on the news. The odd thing about it all was that during the whole thing, they were filming the mall, well the outside...an ariel shot from a helicopter. Showing all the cops outside...and they were taking calls from citizens that fled from the mall.......I would think they wouldn't release any info until they got the whole story, but that doesn't happen here apparently. The news just does what they want to around here. I can only imagine the news media that was calling into the Tacoma Police at the time. How annoying would that be. It always is annoying when media call.......so apparently it was like a 4 hour thing. The gunman held 3 people hostage in Sam Goody.....maybe he wanted a new CD. But he let em go, and he was taken into custody. No word yet why it happened.

Apparently this whole thing made national news. My parents are in Virginia right now taking a little vacation, and heard about it. My mom of course called right away to see if I was ok. I am here alone and gosh, if anything did happen...no one would know. I don't work so I am not expected to be anywhere....I don't know anyone, so no one would check on me lol. If something did happen, I would fear my mom would be one of those moms calling in for a welfare check on me lol. But that wont happen lol. I have since given her some numbers to my husbands supervisors and others on base.

So here is the odd thing.....When I first moved here, my mom came down like a month later, and we went shopping at a mall in Renton, about 20 minutes north of Tacoma, but not quite to Seattle....Well the same day we were there shopping, there was a murder in the mall...shots fired. This happened like an hour after we left. Then I was at another place shopping a few weeks later, the location escapes my mind at this time, and there was a murder in the parking lot, again a gunshot. After I left of course, but it was odd that I had been there hours before something big happened. So yesterday, I thought to myself, "hey self, I should go to the Tacoma mall and look around since it is bigger than the mall I live down the road from".....But I didn't. My laziness got the better of me. How wierd huh. I thank the good Lord above that I did't go.

Whew!!!!

But I am very happy that the people were ok. Only 7 were taken to the hospital, and all were ok apparenlty.

This state has to much damn crime.
I WANT TO GO BACK TO ANCHORAGE!!!!! And I want to be back in dispatch so I can hear all the details. I miss my job, and my home. Sigh!

Thank you for letting me clear the air!

Ok well just so everyone knows, no one's advice on here is ever not wanted. I love hearing from everyone that comments. :)

In one of my previous posts, it may have come across that I was not welcoming comments. This is not the case actually. I love comments, but at that particular moment in time I was pissed beyond belief....at EVERYTHING!
I mainly use my blog as my own personal diary, and have no objections to others reading it. I am an open book, and don't mind others seeing how I am feeling. Heck, most people that know me know I'll tell them most anything about my life if they ask. I guess this give me a place to put down in words how I am feeling, and get everything off my chest. I don't like to write in an actual diary, so I use this. Its much faster typing than hand writting. And I put it on the internet so that I can always come back and look at it, and re read things I felt and thought at a particular moment in time. But I ALWAYS welcome feedback, be it good, bad or ugly. Ok well don't call me names or anything, but comment away. I am a hard person to offend actually. Well ok let me put that differently.....I respect everyones opinions, and telling me what that opinion is does not bother me at all, as long as it is done respectfully.

Everyone gives different opinions and feedback, that is what makes us all unique. In one particular post I said that I didn't want sympathy or words of wisdom to fix how I was feeling. I didn't mean that I didn't want comments. I just didn't want people reading my post, thinking I was looking for an answer. I was just miserable, and pissed off, and needed to just vent big time.
I needed to get it all out, no matter how irritable I sounded. I didn't want someone to think that I was out their begging for help or an answer as to how I was feeling.
It actually felt great to sulk, and cry, and yell and throw things lol. Don't worry I didn't break anything. I think if people bottle up their emotions, it will eventually get the better of them.

Soooooo, in conclusion to my rambling post tonight, I most certainly welcome comments and advice and anything else you want to say. Very few people read this, so I can assure everyone who does read this....my attitude was not at all directed at those who read this lol. I was just haveing a very bad day/week.

I am still struggling with this deployment, and I am sure I will continue to go up and down emotionally throughout the remainder of the time.
Some days are good, some days are ok, and some are just down right horrible.

I am getting used to communicating with my husband through e mail, and slowly but surely he is coming around. He isn't very indepth, and doesn't pour his heart out like I tend to do....but he writes and calls more often, so for him that is a HUGE step in the right direction.

I don't envy the time in which e mail didn't exist. Where women stayed behind when their husbands were gone and had to wait weeks and months at a time for a letter....heck I'd probably never get one if that were the case.
I know not all men are emotional, and express how they feel...I just have to interpret what Eric means when he does write to me.

I now know what it means to serve my country. Yes I am not out there fighting the battle myself....but guess what, I have my own battle at home. I get left behind to take care of everything by myself, with no help. And I am in a new place to add to the frustration. So in my own way I think that I , and every other military spouse out there supports their country as much as the one actually serving in the military. So here is a little thank you to all the other spouses out there, doing what we do all the time.....supporting our loved ones, by taking care of the homefront, while they defend the homeland.

Ok and with that, I'm done rambling. I don't think anything I said makes an ounce of sense, but hey who said it had to, right? :)

Getting the hang of it finally!!!!

Ok so my husband has been gone almost 2 weeks now......It has been horrible up until this point. Well it still is horrible to have my husband away from me for so long. But I know what he is doing is important, and he supports our freedom, and keeps it going. He is my hero, and always will be. He does a job that I couldn't do, and many would not do, but they sure do want all the luxuries of this life, but not fight to keep it....ok but anyways.....Im just in a good mood now.

So almost 2 weeks have gone by, and we have oh....another 110 days yet to go...give or take a few here or there lol. But finally, did I mention FINALLY my husband got the hang of communicating with his wife through e mail. lol. Unfortunatly he only gets 2 calls a week, 15 minutes each call. Which makes it hard to get out all that we want to say. So we have to rely on e mail to communicate. Unfortunatly I would get so upset when I did not hear from him for a few days. I thought he didn't want to talk to me. I mean it's my husband, his response was really important to me. I finally started e mailing him and explaining I needed more from him, I wanted to hear about his days, his work, his thoughts, his feelings....things like that. Because I couldnt hug or kiss him here, we couldn't express that we love eachother with the things that most people get to do everyday, and take forgranted. I needed him to be more expressive on e mails. I wanted to hear all about his days, and his work and things. I even sent him a few intimate e mails lol. Not sure about his response to that kind lol. He finally got the hang of things, he finally started expressing himself to me through e mail. I mean that is all we have right now. He did explain how busy he is at work when he is there for his 12 hour shifts, and only gets 1 day off every 4 days. But now I understand that :) He is out there launching planes, washing vehicles, fixing the planes when they brake...all that stuff. Very busy, but he has made a point to send me e mails when he can and he is more descriptive more in depth with them. It felt very good, and now we seem to be on a little groove with this......Now we just concentrate on his homecoming. It's getting better thank the Lord. We still have a long ways to go, and I'm sure it will have it's ups and downs, but for right now it's up :)

A semi better day.

Well today I got out of the house, mailed Eric's care package, and went to Walmart and strolled around for a bit. I got a few things to send him in his next care package. I got some food in the house finally. I haven't eaten all day today and didn't even notice lol. So now I'm eating a lean cuisine pizza...yum yum

I got a call from Eric today and did nothing but cry on the phone. I feel so bad, but it just pours out when he calls, cause my emotions go all over the place.

But at least I got out of the house today. It felt good. It was my first time sending a package to an APO address...I didn't know I had to fill out a customs form...I felt so silly listing m&m's, candy, cookies, washclothes, and camera cords lol.....Hopefully they wont open it or anything, but I know the possiblity always exists....oh well.....I just hope they don't eat his cookies lol.

Well tomorrow maybe I'll go out and look for a job. yikes, that word scares me lol

A perfect world

IS NOT WHAT I LIVE IN........

So I live in the world that is mine, the boring, lifeless, agonizing, depressing, husbandless world!

Ok so it's not that bad, and there are several people who's lives are far worse than my own. I just like to get out my thoughts. Hey it's better to do it here than out on the freeway on some unsuspecting slow poke grey hair that can barely see over the steering wheel......So here is where I get my thoughts out, my anger, my worries, my irritation at the world around me right now.

So it has been 3 days since I heard from my husband. I know they work 4 days on and 1 day off....but still...he should at least have time to check his damn e mail. At least I certainly would. Apparently there is an internet connection in his room however, he cannot get out on the internet for some reason. He is supposed to be taking his laptop to the computer guys to have it re adjusted or whatever they do. But hello!!!, there is a freakin media center there with phones and omg, COMPUTERS. He could at least check in with me, say hi, something. But no, instead I sit here, waiting for an e mail or phone call like I was dating again waiting for a guy to call me back. Except this time it's my husband and I'm sitting at home taking care of everything while he is gone. ARGH

So of course a ton of thoughts always run through my mind. And then I read stories of other military men deployed who actually send their wives e mails. Not just any e mails, but caring, compationate, intimate e mails. They send them letters, flowers, just things to brighten their day. NOT MY HUSBAND! I understand it is hard for them over ther, but hell, they have tv's, computers, phones, a POOL. It's not like he is living in a tent eating bugs!! I know they work them hard over there, but they do have some down time. They aren't the Army for crying out loud. I think it's easier for the one going, than the one being left behind. But why do my feelings go out for him, much more than his seem to be for me? Why can't he just express what he is thinking, if he is thinking anything at all. It would mean the entire world to me for him to go out of his way, just once to send a little e mail....just something saying he loves me or something.

So tomorrow, I will get out of the house for the first time in 4 days. I will go to the gym, I will mail his damn care package which will have less and less care in it as the hours tick by. I will go to the store and get some healthy food. I will clean this mess I have been living in since he left, because I didn't care enough to clean the house. I will not leave the computer on at night, hoping for an e mail.

Ok so it will never be a perfect world, but maybe it will get better. Maybe? One can only hope.

Feeling Better!

Well I got a call from Eric today. It was so nice to hear from him. He let me just cry and talk to him about how I was feeling. He gave me his mailing address finally, so I can send him a care package. He explained the e mails and that he was just trying to tell me what was going on with him there, and that he did love me and miss me. Its just sooooooo damn hard to communicate with someone over e mail only. I am not used to typing to him. We met on line and everything, but we only talked for like 2 days before meeting in person, and we were together ever since. Never seperated for more than a week here or there.
I can tell you it was a big sigh of relief to hear from him, to know he cares and that I was just making a mountain out of a mole hill. But I have realized that I am much happier when he is here. Now I will know that his e mails are just not as emotional or sentimental as I wished they were, but that isnt his way in typing.
I can sleep better tonight having heard from him, and understanding what is going on. I cannot wait to get his care package in the mail to him. Im so excited and what a big load off my back the phone call was. Wow, this is an emotional rollar coaster....never imagined I would have to go through this, but everytime someone says thank you to me, for my husband serving our country, it makes it all worth it. :)

Ok I'm done for the night lol. ahhhhhhh, big sigh of relief

Not sure I'm cut out for this

First let me just say, I write on my blog, mainly for myself. I know a few read it, but it's just a way of getting my feelings out, the only way I can. I am not looking for any answers, or even sympathy. I'm just writting it to get it out. If someone wants to comment, that is fine, I just don't want anyone thinking I write this for anyone else but myself. I just don't want anyone reading this thinking they need to help me by giving me some poetic advice or tell me what I should do. I need to sulk, I need to be pissed and upset and cry. No matter what anyone says, I don't think its going to change anytime soon. I don't mind comments of empathy, I just would prefer no comments of what I should do. thank you...with that said....here is my post.

It hasn't even been a week since my husband left for the dessert. The first few days were up and down. It wasn't to bad. He left here and went to Chicago, and called me when he got there. It was nice to hear from him and know he was thinking of me. He was then on his way to Baltimore, and was to call me when he got settled. I waited and waited, giving him time to get there and get checked into the hotel and such....well I waited several hours and I knew he should have made it there by then. I got so worried and nervous. I picked up the phone and called my key spouse. Key spouses are our support system here when our husbands are deployed. Well it just so happens that my key spouse's husband got deployed with my husband. So I called her to see if she had heard from her husband, she had. He called her from his cell when they got to Baltimore and told her he would call her when they got settled in the hotel. He hadn't called her back though, but she at least knew he had made it there. I just started crying, because Eric hadn't called me yet. She was a sweetheart and talked to me for a while, and said as soon as she heard from her hubby she would call me. Well a few minutes later she called her husbands cell phone (my husband didnt bring his cell, no point really, cannot use it overseas). She told me she passed a msg to my husband to call me. Eric finally called and said he was sorry for worrying me. He had been in the bar below the hotel drinking and eating with all the guys that were going over there with him. What??? he was having a great time, drinking and hanging out and I was worried to death.....how could he not think I wouldn't be worried. But he appologized and that was that, and he then called the next day before he left for Europe.
I got a call from him in Germany, they had a layover there on base. I didn't hear from him for another day or so. He finally called me from the base he is at. He didn't have his e mail or mailing address yet. But it was nice to hear from him. It was a timed call, he only gets 2 calls a week for 15 minutes. Not a lot of time at all.

Well yesterday I finally got an e mail from him, saying that he "loved" it over there. He loves the food, the buildings, the work, everything. He did say he loved it all except I wasn't there. All I could hear is that he "loved" it there. How can he love it. I am sitting here in misery, hating every minute of this deployment, hating the military, hating the holidays, hating everything. and he loves it. It hurt so much to hear that. All I did was cry and cry. I e mailed him back, asking why he said he loved it, and why he hadnt given me his mailing address yet, and why he hadn't opened the other gift I gave him....You see I packed him 2 things in his suitcase without him knowing, a wedding picture of us, and a little nascar notepad. I wrote a little message to him inside the notepad. Well he had opened the picture frame and didn't open the other one. He said he thought he would be changing rooms in a week, to be closer to the showers and stuff, and he didnt want to open the second one fearing it was a breakable as well....I told him it wasnt, but 2 days later he still hadn't opened it. Why wouldnt he want to open a gift from his wife?

So in the middle of me balling my eyes out, the phone rings it was his dad telling me his grandmother is doing worse, and basically dying and that Eric needed to call and say his goodbye to her before something happened. Well they have no idea the bad day I have had, so I had to act like nothing is wrong. I call his first sgt, and only get the first sgt's secretary. I tell her what is going on, and she calls the base over there and gets a message to someone to tell Eric. so about 2 hours later I called Erics brother to tell him to call me after Eric had called, well Eric was on the phone with his brother when I called, so they got him right away apparently.

Later last night I got an e mail from him, while I was awake, and we got to talk through e mail a bit, but it is so different trying to communicate with someone through e mail. He seems so different. He finally opened the other present, but didn't see I had written anything. He said he would look when he got back to his room. He had his mailing address but had left it in his room and would e mail me later that night with it....well he never did. Why wouldnt he want me to have his mailing address right away? I need to send him stuff that he needs for his camera and stuff. He said a few nice things to me, but mostly it just seemed so distant and not normal.

I havent heard from him since last night at midnight or so my time. about noon his time. He never e mailed me back with his mailing address, no nothing.

I just dont know if I can handle this lifestyle. I didn't think it would be this hard. I don't want to be away from my husband. I feel like he doesn't love me or something.....maybe he is glad he is there, away from me. I want him to say he is miserable, that he hates it there.....because I hate it here without him. I hate the holidays, I hate seeing families, I hate everything right now. I cry all the time because I miss him so much, and am so worried about this, wondering what he is really thinking.
Im the one that is left behind to take care of the house, the cats, the cars, the bills.......everything.....do you think his family has called to see how I am doing? no. I mean I know they are now dealing with his grandmothers health issues, that is fine, but what about the day he left? no one called me then. I just want to scream at people who talk about being away from their family for a week or so. I would kill for just a week.
I don't know if this is the lifestyle I can live for the next 14 years. I just don't think I can. I don't know what the answer is, but this isn't what married life should be. I feel taken forgranted of, and left out, and left behind. Im scared he is over there, totally forgetting about me, and I'm left here just to take care of all of his crap. I hope this will change, but I doubt it. I just hate it all right now. I think I may go to church on Sunday, hoping that will lift my spirits. The sad thing is, my husband isn't even a christian. I am, and I lean on God in times like this. I believe in him with all my heart, that is part of what is hurting. My husband doesn't believe, maybe he doesn't believe in us either. I don't know. Maybe church will help me, and give me some answers I am looking for. I sure hope so.

Life Alone

Well, it has been almost 3 days since Eric left for his desert deployment. I dropped him off at the base, and waited for a bit till their bus came, we said our final goodbyes and I tearfully drove away, and back home. It is so quiet and lonely here at home. I have recieved a few calls from him, but none for almost a day....just waiting for the next call. I have just been staying in the house, not doing much...not really feeling like doing much. I haven't wanted to be to social the past few days, but I guess that is expected in the beginning.
I sometimes feel bad for thinking bad thoughts about others who have their spouses. Like when my father in law came to visit, his wife, Eric's stepmother wasn't able to come out. He said a few times that she was probably getting really lonely and luckily she had her 2 sons there to keep her company. I just wanted to yell at him and say "hey I have no one and my husband is getting ready to leave". Of course I didn't but I just get so mad at stuff like that. And now that he is really gone, I just hate those kind of comments. I know its no ones fault, and I know that a week or so is a long time to be away from someone if you aren't every away from them. But right now I would kill for a week or two, I'd kill for just 2 months. I do have to say that I am lucky he isn't going to be gone for a year like some of the Army guys are. I just hate that I'm in a new place, don't really know a lot of people, and he is gone for the holidays.
I am beginning to hate all the holiday commercials, and this is usually my favorite time of the year.
I know I shouldn't be having a pity party for myself, but right now I just feel like it. Oh well.
I will get out there and get on with things, but I just really miss my husband. I hate being in a new city, without him. Oh well, time to suck it up I guess. Im sure things will improve with time, and hopefully he'll be home sooner than expected, (yeah right) lol.

Halloween Night at the Emergency Room

Ok, so the last place I wanted to spend my halloween night, or any night for that matter at the ER. Well I'll take you back to the beginning.........

A week ago I was doing my hair, I had my head flipped upside down, sorta scrunching it or whatever, well I flipped my head up really fast and WHOAH....I got dizzy...I figured it would go away, and nope, nothing...still dizzy for like 2 hours. It finally went away, but then for the next week, everytime I woke up I could barely walk, I was really dizzy. Yesteraday I took a nap before all the trick or treaters came, and when I got up, I was REALLY dizzy, and it wasn't going away. Well a few days ago I was on base at the doctors office filling out a form to get some more pills I am on. I told them right there I had been dizzy and was wondering if I could get my blood pressure taken really quickly..(I am on blood pressure medicine so the dizziness scared me, thinking it was my blood pressure, high blood pressure is a silent killer, can cause all sorts of things including strokes, and can cause dizziness).....well the people at the desk said no, if they took my BP without an appointment, then if it was really high they would be responsible for me....um well yah lol...ok whatever. My civilian doctors all would just say come on in and they would check it, if it was sky high, then they would have delt with it...but whatever, its military and the medical stinks so Im used to it.....

So I go on about my week, but like I said yesterday the dizziness was really bad, wouldn't go away, and then I got nausious. (I think anyone would after 5-6 hours of being dizzy lol) I couldnt walk without almost falling over. So Im telling Nell this on the yahoo messenger, and telling my husband its getting worse, we all agree its probably best that I go to the ER.

So I go, and wait for like 4 hours to be seen. Then I get back there, they don't ask typical questions like when my last period was, which they usually always do. So I tell them lol. The doc does a bunch of tests, to determine something isnt wrong with my head or I've had a stroke or something.....then he says that my inner ear has little crystal like things in it, and when I flipped my head up doing my hair I jiggled them around....they have a hard time getting settled again. So he had me sit up on the bed thing...turn my head to the right, lay back on my back with my head slighly hanging off the bed, then I would sit up and do it with my head turned to the left...I did this like 5-6 times, he said it was some techninque they use to help the dizziness...I think he just wanted me to get an ab workout lol.....but it did help. Then they have to hook me up to a heart monitor, cause I said my chest was hurting a tad, but that is because I was having a small anxiety attack in the car on the way there...but whatever. and they took a preg test, came back neg...well duh...it would be too early to tell even if I was, but I'm not....whatever....so he gave me dramamine and valium and sent me home

So that was my halloween night lol...sorry I typed so much, I was just on a roll about my night LOL At least I'm not going to die, and that is good

Happy Halloween!!!!!

Ok, so we got our pumpkins done, thought I'd share......

Here they are in the light

Here is Eric's Pumpkin with all its glowing glory LOL

And here is mine :)

Ok and last but not least, I have to show you how funny and goofy Eric was being lol, he was trying to put on a scary face lol. It was cute, especially since this will be our last holiday this year together. We have been getting along so good, and having so much fun together. We spent all night carving our pumpkins, making dinner, cleaning the house.....all together :) So here is his goofy face lol....notice the facial hair, he hasn't been to work in over a week lol, he'll be shaving tomorrow lol

Holy Cow what a week!!!!!!

So I have family here at my house this week, and its getting on my nerves lol. I have my husbands dad, and my mom here visiting all week. It is one thing to have one side of the family here, but having 2 sides at the same time gets to be a bit much sometimes. But I am dealing well with it. They all get along, I just feel like I have to cater to both of them, which is difficult sometimes. Let me tell you what, since I stopped smoking last March, I cannot stand the cigarette smell. My father in law smokes, A LOT! Ok thats fine, he goes outside to smoke. HOWEVER, when he is at his home, he smokes in his garage, where all his computer equipment and things are. It's like his little office. Ok that is fine, but all the stuff that is in his garage STINKS to high heaven. So he brings his laptop and camera and video camera and everything else, suitcases and all.....THEY STINK. They are in my guest bedroom, making the whole room smell!!!! My brand new guest bedroom comforter stinks like cigarette smoke, due to all the stuff that is saturated with the smell being in there. Now here is the other thing, I asked him to keep his door open for the cats, not to close it shut all the way. Well he closed it shut at night, ok I can deal with that as long as the cats aren't locked in there at night and can get to their food and kitty cat box. But he is wanting to keep the door shut in the day time. Well this just makes the stinch in the room permiate all of MY stuff. My linens (clean towels and extra sheets) are in the closet in there. Now they are all going to stink. When he does go outside to smoke, he smokes right inside the garage with the garage door open. Ok fine, he doesn't want to get rained on. But at least keep the ashtray outside, NOOOO he keeps it inside and then closes the garage door....so all the cigarette butts stink up my garage. ARGH!! Ok I tell myself it will just be a few more days, it is just hard to deal with. He is a nice guy and I don't want to tell him what to do or anything, so I just try to go behind him and febreze the hell out of that room and open the door in the day time so as to get some fresh air in there. Let me also say that my father in law, while he thinks he is a wonderful cook.....really really cannot cook...yuck. He wanted to cook a meal for us, I think I can do without his meals lol. I don't hate him, he is a nice guy and I'm lucky to have him and his wife (my husbands stepmom) as my inlaws, becaue my husbands mother is a whole different story lol.

Now on to my mom. She is here, ok she knows how I like things in my house, so that is ok. But OMG, does one have to YELL while talking on the cell phone. She still covers her mouth with the other hand while talking, no YELLING into the phone. When I'm on the other end of a call I have to turn my volume down. But when its 7 am in the morning, and I'm sleeping, the last thing I want to be woken up to is my mom yelling on the cell phone talking to people at her work. She isn't yelling because she is mad, she yells because I guess she thinks the phone is different from any other phone in the world. AHHHH!

Ok, I as a famous singer said..."I will survive"

I don't bitch because I hate them, I bitch because if I don't get it out here.....I will snap or something lol.

Ok bitch session done, goodbye :)

What is the point of E mail?

Ok so I know the point of it. What I do not understand is why I spend my time sending e mails to people who never respond.

I send several e-mails to family and friends and very rarely get responses back. For starters, I send updates of my husbands upcoming deployment to all of his family. Wait, let me rephrase. I send updates to his family members that I have e mail addresses for. A while back, while still in Anchorage, I asked my mother in law for all the e mails for the family she had. It is a quite a large family. Well as expected, she never sent me ANY of the addresses. So I got some of them from e mails that she sent me, that had other e mail addresses on them. So the few that I have I make sure to send them e mails about us and send pictures and all sorts of things. Well no one EVER e mails me back. I mean I don't expect a return every time I send one. But once in a while to know they are getting them would be nice, to know that they care! The only family that really e mails me back is my father in law and step mother in law. The others could care less, unless its my mother in law sending the same e mail 3 times about her precious daughter, my sister in law. Because really that is all she cares about.

Ok so then I send an e mail to a friend from college I had. I try to keep in touch with her every now and then. I got a response back asking for pictures of her and her boyfriend from college, because they are now dating again, and her ex-husband erased all that she had. Well I searched and finally found a few from college, but none with her boyfriend in them. She sent me one back saying she was hoping for ones of the two of them. Well geesh sorry I did my best. So I still search thinking I must have them on a CD somewhere. Well sure enough I found them. I was so excited to have found them, and even more excited that I could send them to her. So I promptly sent her the 20 pictures I found. That was several days ago and still no response. No thank you, no nothing! I know she knows that she has e mail, because I can see when she signs on to yahoo instant messenger. So why did I even bother looking for them if someone isn't going to be thankful for it?
I also have sent several e mails to several people I knew in Alaska, asking how they and their families are doing, asking about updates of things going on with them and life in general. Do you think they ever e mail me back? No! Some "friends" huh? I get better reception from strangers!

It really frustrates me, all the time I spent befriending people, caring about other peoples feelings, doing things for other people and I get nothing in return. That was my problem with 2 ex friends that were in Alaska. I did A LOT for them, including watching their kid, animals, finances while they were out of town or deployed. I have picked up numerous people from the airport, in the middle of the night. And those people turn their backs on me and just used me in the end. I think I'll just keep to myself now, because it just isn't worth it. People only care about themselves apparently. It also shows me how fake people can be, being nice to my face and then just dismissing me as though I was never good enough. I hope they get what they all dished out!!!!!!

So sweet sometimes

So I often leave notes for my husband in his lunchbox when I pack his lunch. I leave messages on his cell phone saying I love him and things of that nature. Well he usually doesn't think to do those things for me. He loves me and tells me, but sometimes it's nice to have something nice done for you. Well today I had a shopping adventure with a friend, and my appologies to Nell that I wasn't up to my usual shopping snuff. :) Anyways, I packed Eric's lunch before I left and left him a note reminding him to take his Typhoid pill that he has to take to be inoculated against it before going to the desert. He was still sleeping when I left, because he works night shift. When I got home, for the first time in our marraige and dating life he left me a note on the fridge saying he loved me and wrote his "pet" name for me..."honey bunny" lol. It was so sweet that he did that. Very very very sweet. I love him so much. He is the best :) It is times like this, that I really feel loved by him. I mean I know the man loves me, he is good to me, but sometimes I just like affectionate tokens like notes and such. It takes more effort to do that then a simple kiss or just saying "I love you". Little suprises of love do wonders for the soul.

A long night

Ok so it is 6 in the morning, and I still have not been to bed. I have been up since 1 in the afternoon yesterday. I wake up around that time because my husband is on swing shift, well now on mids and I usually stay up till he gets home. But tonight I made a point to go to bed early because I am supposed to go shopping with a friend well Today now. I still have not slept. I went to bed around midnight, and my chest started hurting. I took one of my pills and it still hurts, not only does it hurt in the front, but directly behind my heart in my back. It hurts so much that I cannot use my left arm very well or lay in bed without being in pain. I don't know what the deal is. I am trying to keep myself calm so my heart doesnt race more than it already is. I am also sick to my stomach, not a fun night/morning for me at all. I contemplated going to the ER but I didn't feel like waking my husband up after a 12 hour shift to take me. I also am not sure I want to spend the time in there. I know if I went I would be seen right away, because they have to see patients with chest pain first, though I'm most certain it isn't heart related. I don't know what brought this on all of the sudden. So here I sit at the computer because it is more comfortable to sit rather than lying in bed.
I wish I could just fall asleep. Argh my body really irritates me at times. I thought this chest pain problem was long gone. Why oh why is it coming back. Maybe I need a vacation lol, or a therapist, LOL.

Our House, what a very very very nice house

Ok so I decided to post some pictures of our house..While we don't own it (thankfully we own a condo in Anchorage) but I like to decorate nonetheless. And I figured everyone likes to look at pictures, so it should be fun lol....We'll start with the living room......



This is a picture of the living room window and front door. Not to shabby







This is a picture of the living room window again but from a different angle.

This is a picture taken from the front door, looking at the couch. We are planning on getting a sectional one day, since we have the room

Here is the main bathroom vanity, I am not sure why it looks so dim in the picture, but oh well.

Here is a picture of the vanity and the doorway and curtain of the shower. Our shower and toilet are in a seperate room, which is nice when I am getting ready and Eric is showering or the other way around :)

This is a picture of our bedroom from the door. We have a fairly small bedroom, because we chose to use the large master bedroom as our den :)

This is a picture of our bed, unfortunatly I couldnt get the footboard in there very well. It is a small room and I'd have to go outside to and take a picture through the window to get it all lol. Oh well, you get the picture lol

Here is a picture of the bedroom from my side, I have no idea what was playing on the tv at the time lol. But you get an idea of what we have in our room...Off to the right of the tv you will see the closet, no I didn't open the door just to get a shot of the closet. For some reason in this house, there are no closet doors. Its not like they were removed or something, its how it was built..funny huh? lol




This is a picture of the door to the garage, which we use to get in and out of the house rather than the front door, its just easier. You can also see the wall my mom and I decorated when she was here, with the mirror and lights, and the buffet table underneath, and also to the right you see our kitchen table. We have a pretty big kitchen, so if we have more guests we can add chairs and put in the leaf for the table. Pretty nice :)

Here is a closer picture of the Buffet and the wall.

Here is a picture of the back door, and part of the counter, if you look closely you'll see the plate of fresh homemade cookies :)

Here is a picture of the table in the kitchen and the mirror and pictures above it.

Here is a picture of the rest of the counter, the window and part of the stove/oven

Here is a picture of the Laundry area. It too is not behind any closet, though it is around the corner from the kitchen, next to the guest bathroom and guest bedroom, so it isn't seen by many other than the guests. Not to bad. I keep it organized so as to not make it an eye sore :)

This is the guest bath counter

And here is the guest shower, it is a shower stall rather than tub like our main one.

Here is a picture of the guest bedroom. The comforter is new, my mom got it for me on her trip down here last time. To the right you see my antique dresser. I have had that since I was a kid, it is over 100 years old. I love it :)

Here is a picture as standing at head of the bed, notice the closet with no doors again lol...Makes one keep their closet very organized. You will notice I have a shelf in the closet with all the linens and things. We do have a linen closet, but I use it as the pantry, as it is right off the kitchen, I need much more room for my dishes in the cupboards, so I needed the pantry space. It works out well.
Here is a picture of the window in the guest bedroom


And last but not least, the den. We chose to use the master bedroom as the den because it had more room. We spend most of our time in the den. Notice the picture on the wall, that is a picture of an airplane that an artist in Alaska drew, it says "732 Air Mobility Squadron Elmendorf AFB, Alaska". It has pictures of the moutains in the background, and a plane in the foreground, a C-17 I think. and the squadron symbol. It also has the front and back of the squadron coin. My mom had it framed and matted for Eric for his birthday.

And notice the computer screen....Eric that is your blog I was looking at lol...Anelle, that is your message box on there lol

Here is a shot of the futon we recently purchased. Pretty comfy and I think it looks sharp :)

Here is a shot of the den standing in the living room :)

Friday the 14th

No it's not as fun as a Friday the 13th, but hey we get halloween this month.

So it's just another day in my world. Eric is working a 12 hour shift (no upcoming days off for a while). I sit here on the computer surfing the net and looking thousands of things up to cure my boredom. I can find most anything on line now a days lol.
I need to clean my house because it is a mess, but don't have the energy right now. That is sad becaues I like cleaning usually. Oh well. I have to clean it before Sunday, because I have a shopping trip planned on Sunday. woo hoo. That is something to look forward to.

I am feeling a tad better, though have been getting headaches every day and have had a fever a few days in a row. Maybe I was fighting off a cold or something.
Eric had to get all his shots, to include Small Pox...so we are being careful with that. He has to sleep with a t shirt on, and put his bandaid's in baggies and all that. For the next 2-3 weeks he'll have to take care of the wound and be careful. You would think that the military would give the guys their shots as they got on the plane to go over to the desert, so the rest of their family isn't subject to it...oh well, we are careful.

So not an interseting post, just my thoughts and activities for the day :)

Stress is Stressful

So today I am not feeling very well. Last night I started having chest pains, which I haven't had in a long time. Not since last February when I had a bout of anxiety attacks.

I know I have been stressed lately with my husbands upcoming deployment, and the sudden shift change at his work, making it impossible for us to have time together. He is now working 12 hour shifts with no days off until the 21st. And they are making him work night shift, which is fine but he has all these briefings and things coming up for his deployment, so he won't have any sleep when he goes to work or his briefings. It just sucks that the military treats him this way, treats us this way. The civilian world would compensate him for his time, and they wouldn't send him overseas. Don't get me wrong I am proud of what my husband does, that he is fighting for others freedom, even when they don't appreciate him. But you would think the military would make it as easy as they can on his family.

Anyways, I know I have been stressed out, but I haven't really felt like I have been other than when something happens. I mean, I don't have a job, I don't have kids or anything to worry about. I am waiting until he leave to get a job so I can spend as much time with him as I can.
But it's not like I feel stressed all the time. So last night I started feeling not so good, my chest started hurting. I thought maybe it was from working out the day before (though it was just water aerobics). So today I woke up, felling fine but still feeling the chest pain a little and having a little difficulty breathing. Nothing I am not used to, I was checked out several times last year with these symptoms. So I took my pill and went on my way. I had to go to the grocery store, on the way there I felt great...The medicine was kicking in and it was a really nice fall day outside.
I get to the commissary and my chest pains start. I make sure just to take my time. I look and browse but a few times I thought I was going to pass out. I got clammy/cold sweats and a bit more of a difficult time breathing. I went to the refrigerated section and cooled off. Still feeling like I was going to faint...I just took my time and kept shopping. Not letting myself get to worried. When these things happen, one tends to worry that it is heart problems, which in turn makes it all worse. So I checked out and drove home, and emptied the groceries...Then I took a nap on the couch. I don't really feel any better now, and I now have a fever of 100.1. Not really high, but still a fever none-the-less.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

Blogs confuse me sometimes.

Ok, this blog thing really confuses me sometimes. Maybe I am just not as smart as the blog lol. For whatever reason, my main page is not showing my profile picture, though if you click to see my whole profile, it shows it. However, it does not show my picture when I comment on other people's blogs like it used to. I don't get it. lol

And for whatever reason, when someone goes to my blog, it shows every post I have ever written on the one page, rather than just showing them in the archive. It has them there too, but I don't know how to make it only show the older ones in the archive rather than on the main page AND the archive section. So confusing....but I guess that's what you get when you become used to drag and drop programs, this html code stuff confuses me lol

Our Girls

Well since Eric and I don't have kids, we do have our baby kitties...our girls.....they are so cute.
Of course Eric would kill me if he knew I put up a picture of him sleeping...but oh well lol.

Their names are Parsley and Basil...Parsley is the expensive one, she cost us about 2000 dollars now. She likes to eat things that she finds on the floor along with electrical cords, the skinny ones like cell phone chargers and modem cords. The first time we are not sure what she ate, but she got really sick and ended up having an exploritory surgery, but they found nothing except a swollen intestine...she recovered from that, and then about 5 months later, she got sick again. So again she had exploritory surgery and they found she had eaten a large piece of plastic tubing. She swallowed it whole! I mean it is flexible but geesh, it was a big piece. Then after the surgeries she ate about 7 different cords, luckily she didn't eat any of it, just chewed threw it, causing us to replace the modem, then she ate through that cord and we went online and ordered a new cord...now we have hard plastic material that surrounds the little cords, and so far she hasn't touched any. We also now have pet insurance for both of them. Its about 45 dollars a month, which is a lot, but if they get sick again, it will come in handy. We'll have to fork out the money initially, but the pet insurance will reimburse us. Better safe than sorry.
We now make an effort not to have anything around that she can get to. So our house is always clean lol.

We do love our girls, they are so spoiled. Now that we have window sills, they looooove to sit in the windows and look at the outside world, watch some squirrels and birds. They also like watching the kids in the neighborhood playing. They have a toy basket, and a nice scratching post. When I get a job and we have some extra money, there is a post I want to get for them that has 3 platforms they can sit on at various heights, its a floor to ceiling height....they should love it.

They have such personalities. Basil is a talker, she is always talking to us. Usually telling us to feed her lol. Parsley just loves to play.

This is a picture of Basil and Eric Sleeping

This one is of Basil and Parsley laying on top of the Raggidy Anne and Andy on the guest bed. I had these dolls since I was a kid...the cats really took a liking to them.

This is a pic of Eric and Parsley laying together.

And finally here is a pic of what they looked like when they were babies.

The time is getting closer

Well, Eric came home with his desert gear yesterday. It was such a shock. I mean we have known for a while that he is going, but I just kind of put it in the back of my head, so as to not dwell on it as much. Yesterday when he came home and showed me his desert shoes and pants and bdu jacket and everything it became so real. He also found out when he is leaving. It is getting so close now. I don't know what I'm going to do. It seems we fight a bit more right now, but I have heard that is normal for those who are getting ready to leave. He did do something that suprised me. He went and talked to his first shirt and got his business card so if I need help while Eric is gone, I can call his first shirt....that is their job. He also was told about a package he can pick up from family support that helps the airmen with long distance relationships and things he could do over there for me. We'll see what he does lol. Sometimes I don't feel appreciated, like I am expected to do things. I mean he says thank you and everything, but it seems everyone around me has husbands that are outwardly appreciative. I told him sometimes I would like him to show it rather than say it. I hear how other husbands talk about their wives with great admiration....I sometimes wonder if he talks about me like that....I guess I'll never know....But it would't hurt to have a note on the mirror saying he loves me or something. lol
Oh well....Im just going on and on now I guess. I just wish he wasn't leaving....ARGH!